I have heard over and over from people, “This is isolating”.
I think one of the benefits of working in advocacy at an office is that you physically get the reminder every day at work that you are not the only one doing this type of work. There are team meetings to discuss strategy. When something goes right, you can celebrate with others. When you get the most ridiculous response back, you have others just as shocked as you are.
If you are advocating for your own individual circumstances, you are probably just advocating from home. People feel utterly alone in their experience. It’s heavy, and it is exhausting.
Here is the thing.
No one is out there looking for you. No one is going to find you and send you an invitation to join this great group of people who are experiencing the same shit.
If you want to feel less isolated, you are going to need to be the person who puts in the work of “finding your people”.
It is going to take courage and some persistence on your part.
Support groups can be hit and miss, but don’t give up.
If you are going to be in any sustained kind of advocacy, you need to find friends. Otherwise, your mental health will suffer. Period. And there isn’t anyone else who can do the work of maintaining these friendships for you, other than you.
You are going to need to put yourself out there and risk being rejected. Risk it not automatically falling into place from the start. You will need to navigate through the weeds. It will take time and work.
When I started my student placement, my husband asked me how it was going. I said to him, “I can’t believe I am saying this, but I feel like I found my people.”
Communities are out there. They exist. Get involved. I can guarantee you, you are not the only one going through what you are going through. You don’t need to do this and be alone.
I have had a couple of friendships in my life; if I didn’t have these people, I truly don’t know how I would have survived the BC Human Rights Tribunal for as long as I did.
You may think you can’t take on anything more, but by getting involved, it may just increase your mental and emotional capacity, as the weight of doing this alone will be lifted and you will have more energy. Isolation is heavy. We need each other.
You don’t need to do this alone.
Choose to find your people. Your brain and your heart will thank you.