Tag: #Sustainability

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Courage

Advocacy means stepping into the unknown and taking a risk.

It is dancing along the lines of your comfort zone. Never knowing how people will respond to you, until they do.

Sometimes you need to be fearless. Focus on the process and let go of the outcomes. Whatever will be will be. But the point is to be doing it. Pushing the line ever so slowly. Planting the seeds for the years to come. Standing up and making a statement when necessary. Magic does happen.

You also need thick skin.

Know that everyone out there isn’t going to like you or understand you. They will judge you and talk about you behind your back. If you are going to be out there in the public eye, this unfortunately comes with the package. To a point. Nowadays…my goodness. It seems to have gotten out of control.

Not everyone is comfortable putting themselves out there. It is a place of vulnerability and unpredictability.

There have been a lot of people who have been so passionate about improving public education that they have pushed themselves into territory they wouldn’t choose on their own. It’s easier to be a bystander, casting judgment from the bleachers. Sitting safely in the unidentifiable area. Much more difficult to be the person in the ring, under the spotlight. When the dream system is so far from today’s reality, those in the ring will never be considered to be doing enough.

I hope all of the people who have been campaigning for the municipal elections are proud of their courage. I wish you all the time you need to decompress and refill your cups.

What I absolutely love is all the engagement that I have been a witness to. I have always wished that more people would attend board meetings, and I hope there is a deeper interest moving forward.

There was a student in my geography class who sat beside me in high school. He was the most vocal anti-religious person I knew. He also knew the bible inside and out and quoted it like every word was ingrained in his head. I wondered if he had a photographic memory. I remember commenting to him something about how interested I was that he knew the bible so well and yet disagreed with it so passionately. He said his father told him that you can’t disagree with something that you don’t know anything about.

If we want to disagree with the systems, we need to figure out how they really work.

To all of the people who took the risk and put themselves out there running for the municipal elections, my hat’s off to you. If you didn’t make it in, I hope this experience has made you a better version of yourself.

Not everyone is suited for a role in politics, and we don’t need to be. We can cover our own zone.

So for now, a day after the elections, I hope you are all resting and optimistic for the next 4 years.

Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To explore feelings is to risk exposing our true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try at all is to risk failure.
But to risk we must,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
– _____________

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What is “doing” healing?

I have talked about my healing process from coming out of the K-12 education system with my kids, who are ND and have invisible disabilities, on my other website P.A.T.H. I have titled these two blogs Life After K-12 and Life After K-12 – 6 months later.

In these blogs, I talk about “doing” healing. It’s an activity. An action. Healing doesn’t just happen over time. It’s something you have to be determined to do, face and work at it.

So what did I do? And what do I do to maintain myself in systemic work?

These are all going to sound small and insignificant, but it’s the consistency and doing these things whether you are in the mood or not. A lot of these items are a privilege to be able to do and access. It’s not an all-or-nothing; this is a prescriptive list that you need to all of it or don’t even bother. Little bits of everything consistently over time will build. Whatever speaks to you.

  • Be out in nature. It’s grounding, and the science behind our contact with nature and our mental health is solid. It will encourage reflection and feelings of peace.
  • Counselling. I am lucky that I get free counselling due to the nature of my work. I take full advantage of access to that and appreciate my counsellor very much.
  • Regulate my nervous system. Look up box breathing, meditation with guided YouTube videos, tapping, butterfly taps, stretching & movement, massage/touch/physical closeness to another person, and exercise. Research nervous system regulation activities. Intense emotions come up; launch into nervous system regulation activities immediately. Movement allows the emotion to flow through you. Emotions are like weather. We name it to tame it and watch them pass by.
  • Write and journal. Everyday. Get it out of you.
  • Gratitude List. As part of my journaling, I write things that I am grateful for. I particularly look for the little things I am grateful for amongst the challenging situation I was in.
  • Read. I read books about healing. Poems. Read about human resiliency and bibliographies.
  • Learn. I have been learning a lot about neuroplasticity and how malleable our brains are. How much influence we have in deciding to change our brains.
  • Be selective about your social media. There are some very helpful people offering great information on our brains and psychological health. I recommend the Pocket Psychologist.
  • Rest. I don’t overschedule myself. I need a lot of down time/alone time. I make sure I get it. Having healthy sleep hygiene. As I was healing, I noticed I was getting a lot more energy, and I was sleeping better at night.
  • Processing with a friend who gets it. I have friends who totally get this world and understand healing.
  • Mentor. Find people who are optimistic and who know or have skills that you would like to learn from.
  • Activity. Find an outlet. Helping people can be incredibly healing. Action. Either volunteer in the area that created the challenge to create change, or create your own volunteer activity.
  • Naturalpath. I started seeing a naturopathic doctor to optimize my physical health.

Apply. Rinse. Repeat.

This is what has worked for me.

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Cover your Zone

This is for the folks out there who are teetering on the brink of stepping into systemic advocacy…

My son was on a baseball team. The ball was hit, and it went straight into the zone behind first base. The ball was high in the air and dropped a few feet from the teen who was covering that zone. The teen didn’t move. He looked to see who else would run after the ball. Runner made it to first base. The baseball coach called out, “If not you, then who?”

That stuck with me in relation to life. Some things get hit into our zone, and if we don’t do something about it… Well, if not you, then who?

We all have our roles. We all have our own skills, abilities and/or interests in how we want to help out our community.

I don’t need to be good at everything. I just need to be able to contribute something.

We all can’t be doing the same thing. We don’t need to be doing the same thing. We need to diversify. We all can’t be defence or goalie. That wouldn’t work. We’d have missing zones not covered. Gaps in the system not being attended to.

If you are wondering if you have something to contribute to your community, the answer is yes. Now it’s just figuring out what role you want to play and how best to use your interests and talents.

It doesn’t need to be this grandiose goal.

It’s incredible how small projects can spread. Things start local and ideas catch on, and before you know it, it spreads across the country.

Do you see a gap where people are experiencing harm that you may be able to help with?

We all don’t need to be organizing a protest or joining a board. But I do encourage people to self-reflect, and it is worth the effort to just think about how you may be able to lend a piece of yourself.

There are people who like to do loud advocacy and others who like to do quiet advocacy.

One person cannot solve all of the problems in the world, and no one is expecting you to. But if we all did a little something to help in our corner of the world, it would go a long way.

An excellent way to unclog the anger is by movement. That movement is by getting involved in your community. Some people start up businesses or advocate through their art. There are an endless number of volunteer roles. Helping other people is very healing. It can move pain to purpose.

What is the system expecting anyway? We all just witness the atrocities and then carry on our day?

Accepting the way things are, can go two ways. It is either the kind of acceptance that you springboard off of to create change. Or it can be the kind of hopeless acceptance that can be heavy. Sitting in the bleachers watching the systemic game unfold and being trapped in that seat is not a great position to be in. No wonder people can be so angry and bitter. Get in the game. Unclog. Let the action create movement. Choose hope.

If you find something that you enjoy or are doing advocacy with other people who you enjoy being with, then your mental health will benefit you and others. Systemic advocacy doesn’t need to be torturous. You are allowed to actually enjoy it. Suffering is not required. But also, if anger is the gas in your gas tank right now…. Use it! People can run on anger and put it to good use.

If something has happened and the ball has been hit into your zone…what are you going to do?

If not you, then who?

“Action is the antidote to despair” – Joan Baez

Sarah McLachlan – World on Fire

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You’re not alone in this story’s pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I’ll try to hold it in, yeah I’ll try to hold it in
The world is on fire, it’s more than I can handle
I’ll tap into the water, try to bring my share
I’ll try to bring more, more than I can handle
Bring it to the table, bring what I am able
I watch the heavens but I find no calling
Something I can do to change what’s comin’
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
I don’t wanna be left alone, don’t wanna be alone
The world is on fire, it’s more than I can handle
I’ll tap into the water, try to bring my share
I’ll try to bring more, more than I can handle
Bring it to the table, bring what I am able
Hearts break, hearts mend, love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash, still there’s talk of
Saving souls, still the cold is closing in on us
We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
The fortune of one man means less for some
The world is on fire, it’s more than I can handle
I’ll tap into the water, try to bring my share
I’ll try to bring more, more than I can handle
Bring it to the table, bring what I am able
The world is on fire, it’s more than I can handle
I’ll tap into the water, try to bring my share
I’ll try to bring more, more than I can handle
Bring it to the table, bring what I am able

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Move from “let it go” to “park it for now”

If you are doing systemic advocacy here are some truths you will need to absorb.

  1. This is not going to be solved today or tomorrow, or possibly anytime soon.
  2. This will be an issue that even if becomes “complete” will be forever fragile so never really over.
  3. Working harder, or doing more will not necessarily mean that it will be resolved sooner.

Some things you are just going to need to “let go” in that moment. However, it doesn’t mean that you are letting it go forever.

You will be returning to the issue, it may not be advantageous to focus on it now.

And so we park it.

We put it in our mental parking lot.

Write it down on the park it for now list, and you will come back to it later. There may be circumstances that will change, when suddenly it becomes the time to focus on the issue. Timing can sometimes be everything and you aren’t going to be able to solve everything at once.

So be gentle with yourself. Trying to force the pace to speed up will sometimes be shooting yourself in the foot. Review, and go over what you have control over and what you do not.

The machine would love for you to burn out and go away.

Self care and rest is resistance because it keeps you in the game.

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How to use Rituals as part of your Advocacy

When I have had a heavy emotional day at work, I come home and immediately hop in the shower to “wash it off”.

One of the aspects that helps with advocating at work is separating work from home. It’s done in a different location. I am wearing office clothes. I am speaking with people who don’t live with me.

We can take that concept and those features and apply it to help out other people who need to advocate.

For some people, advocating can feel so outside their comfort zones that they don’t think they can do it. But hey… put on a costume “office attire” or work someone else, and it suddenly isn’t as personal anymore.

Sometimes, to step into the role, having a ritual can help. We can go to a second-hand store, buy a blazer, and when we write our emails, put on our “office” attire.

We can light a candle when we do our emails or policy research, and when we are done, blow it out. The work is over.

Have a shower. Just as professional athletes visualize their goals, we can visualize that the words that stuck to us during that meeting are being washed off. I always shower in the morning, so for me to shower at another time in the day, it feels like I am starting a new day.

What are some rituals or symbols you can incorporate into the advocacy that give you the mental break that it’s done and you can think about other things now?

When advocacy is intense, it is easy to just have it ruminate in your head over and over. Replaying meetings. Re-reading emails. But you need to give your brain a break and have a balanced life to bring some gratitude and joy in your life and in your relationships with other people.

So, just like how I can leave the office and it’s done.

I don’t need to shower anymore when I come home from work, but if I ever have a hard day, I know I have a plan and an option to reset myself. I know what I need and what works. That confidence of knowing that I can cope helps to build my perseverance and my capacity.

How can people who are advocating for personal reasons use symbols or rituals to separate their advocacy time from their life? How can you?

The smallest things that you do will build up over time. It can be the little things that make a big difference over time.