Finding out how systems really work is disappointing. At least it was to me.
We grow up watching children’s movies where the good guys always win, and everything works out. We are taught honesty. To do the right thing. So when we find out that society, which taught us those things, is not living those values itself, it’s jarring.
We never imagined our systems were actually this corrupt. This dirty. It’s somehow still surprising when this stuff gets revealed now and then.
It turns out our human brains are wired to root for the underdog. No wonder we like those movies so much. We always hope the underestimated one wins.
Part of managing yourself in long-term systemic advocacy is going to be dealing with disappointment. Not mild disappointment. The kind of disappointment that makes you want to give up. But then the kind of disappointment that makes this all unacceptable, propels action.
People will disappoint you.
They will know less than what you expected them to know.
They will be more rigid than you thought they would be.
They will fight to maintain the system, harder than you ever imagined.
They will be less courageous than what you were hoping for.
The larger the gap between our expectations and reality, the more depressed or angry we will be.
The simple solution is to change our expectations.
Say goodbye to the world you thought existed. The way things should be, but are not. And say hello to reality.
Welcome acceptance.
People are flawed. Imperfect. Tall children. Really. Our brains are working wonders and telling us stories of what we need to hear so we can carry on and survive.
What is the narrative in our heads?
What do we tell ourselves about how we think the world should work?
The crack in our thinking is uncomfortable at first.
But necessary.
We need to build a new world and better systems.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Ghandi