Tag: #SystemicChange

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Sometimes You Just Need to Laugh

Systems can be so ridiculous, so ludicrous, so illogical, so over the top that you just need to laugh, or you’ll go hysterical.

I come out of meetings with Ottawa and wonder what planet am I on. They must come from planet Make-No-Sense.

The circles that systems send you through and then defend them like it is purely logical is a friggen joke.

They can be so over the top; what on Earth is there to do? Where do you even start with this ridiculousness?

It all seems so HUGE.

Try to explain this to someone else, and you just have to laugh. It turns into a comedy show. I envision this all as a cartoon. A Broadway musical. All explained in song.

The sad part is, is that these systems cause a lot of harm.

And there is no quick fix.

No simple solution.

So, in those moments when you finish the most ridiculous meetings, you just don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Choose to laugh.

You have to look at the ridiculousness and make jokes around the office. Find the comics that resemble the meetings. And think of the songs that would be perfect to explain all of this in the Broadway musical of all this.

Save yourself to keep yourself in the game.

You can choose to keep yourself afloat, and a great way to do that, I have found, is through comedy.

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Consistency

Like anything in life, what is sometimes deemed impossible becomes possible through consistency.

It’s the little things that we do that really add up.

Systemic advocacy is no different.

The decisions that we don’t think are a big deal every single day are actually our foundation.

The larger system assumes that you will go away. That is why all of them engage in some form of delay strategies, or they come up with projects to keep you busy.

Whatever kind of self-care you can do every day, that is the consistency that will keep your cup full and at capacity to be at that level of consistency.

So, taking your vitamins, drinking enough water during the day, writing, meditating, connecting with friends, or whatever else you do to keep yourself healthy, that is all creating the foundation that will keep you in the best position to keep you afloat.

In terms of the long term systemic projects, ask yourself – what is the one thing I can do today that will help move things along? It can be as simple as one email. Or reviewing and prioritizing your tasks.

The machine doesn’t like the persistent, consistent ones.

Consistently take care of yourself. It’s a decision you make every day. You can choose.

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Move from “let it go” to “park it for now”

If you are doing systemic advocacy here are some truths you will need to absorb.

  1. This is not going to be solved today or tomorrow, or possibly anytime soon.
  2. This will be an issue that even if becomes “complete” will be forever fragile so never really over.
  3. Working harder, or doing more will not necessarily mean that it will be resolved sooner.

Some things you are just going to need to “let go” in that moment. However, it doesn’t mean that you are letting it go forever.

You will be returning to the issue, it may not be advantageous to focus on it now.

And so we park it.

We put it in our mental parking lot.

Write it down on the park it for now list, and you will come back to it later. There may be circumstances that will change, when suddenly it becomes the time to focus on the issue. Timing can sometimes be everything and you aren’t going to be able to solve everything at once.

So be gentle with yourself. Trying to force the pace to speed up will sometimes be shooting yourself in the foot. Review, and go over what you have control over and what you do not.

The machine would love for you to burn out and go away.

Self care and rest is resistance because it keeps you in the game.

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What is in our Control?

Do you want something to completely suck out your energy and make you contemplate quitting?

Try to control things that are completely out of your control.

You will drive yourself up the wall.

One of the things that I have found to give me peace amongst chaos is to reflect on what I have control over and what I do not. What is out of my control, I need to wash it off and let it go.

When the feelings are intense, I find the only way to do this is to either write it down or draw out a mind map. But some visual representation that I can post where I work is a constant reminder that I have found to be incredibly helpful.

Systems are huge.

They are interconnected.

It’s incredible how some things that are so small can make a difference, and yet some things can be such huge successes, and the machine fights back.

Do what you can. Develop a plan for what you can control.

It’s those little step-by-step tasks that matter the most. But if you are involved in systemic advocacy, there are going to be a lot of people and a lot of relationships that you will not even have access to. You will be dependent on other people. Focus on you and the rest; wash it off. Do the ritual to end your advocacy for that day. Close the book. Blow out the candle. Turn on a 3 min guided meditation on YouTube and carry on. Do something you enjoy. These issues aren’t going away; it is a work in progress. No matter how hard you work, it won’t be solved today.

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How to use Rituals as part of your Advocacy

When I have had a heavy emotional day at work, I come home and immediately hop in the shower to “wash it off”.

One of the aspects that helps with advocating at work is separating work from home. It’s done in a different location. I am wearing office clothes. I am speaking with people who don’t live with me.

We can take that concept and those features and apply it to help out other people who need to advocate.

For some people, advocating can feel so outside their comfort zones that they don’t think they can do it. But hey… put on a costume “office attire” or work someone else, and it suddenly isn’t as personal anymore.

Sometimes, to step into the role, having a ritual can help. We can go to a second-hand store, buy a blazer, and when we write our emails, put on our “office” attire.

We can light a candle when we do our emails or policy research, and when we are done, blow it out. The work is over.

Have a shower. Just as professional athletes visualize their goals, we can visualize that the words that stuck to us during that meeting are being washed off. I always shower in the morning, so for me to shower at another time in the day, it feels like I am starting a new day.

What are some rituals or symbols you can incorporate into the advocacy that give you the mental break that it’s done and you can think about other things now?

When advocacy is intense, it is easy to just have it ruminate in your head over and over. Replaying meetings. Re-reading emails. But you need to give your brain a break and have a balanced life to bring some gratitude and joy in your life and in your relationships with other people.

So, just like how I can leave the office and it’s done.

I don’t need to shower anymore when I come home from work, but if I ever have a hard day, I know I have a plan and an option to reset myself. I know what I need and what works. That confidence of knowing that I can cope helps to build my perseverance and my capacity.

How can people who are advocating for personal reasons use symbols or rituals to separate their advocacy time from their life? How can you?

The smallest things that you do will build up over time. It can be the little things that make a big difference over time.

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The Pace of Change

“Change never happens at the pace we think it should. It happens over years of people joining together, strategizing, sharing, and pulling all the levers they possibly can. Gradually, excruciating slowly, things start to happen, and then suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, something will tip.” – Judith Heumann

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The passage of time and how fast things are resolved can intensify pain and trauma greatly. If systems were more responsive to people and resolution weren’t delayed, the harm would be mitigated for many. Bounce-back time for those involved would be faster. Systems know that delay is harm. It’s why they use it as a strategy, hoping people will leave and move on for their own self-preservation.

While moving the needle for systemic change is not going to be fast, harm is still occurring while we wait. That is the rip-your-face-off reality that we all want. Change to happen now. Out of desperation and triggered energy, we seek dramatic and dynamic advocacy “tricks” to compel people to make new decisions and change their behaviour. Thinking that if they surely understood what was at stake, change would be delivered.

We expect empathy and motivation to change. Then when nothing happens, we are lost and confused. We do not understand the planet we are living on and who we are living with.

Recognizing that time is not on our side, or that it is even going to be used against us, is a hard pill to swallow.

When we learn to accept that the work will never be completely finished. And even if it is, finished work is fragile. We are just always taking a step in the right direction. It’s not like the finish line keeps moving because there is no finish line to begin with.

We aren’t going to be able to save everyone and stop all of the harm. Struggle and suffering is going to be a part of people’s lives regardless of what we do. It has always been and will always be. It’s just the level of intensity of struggle that we are fighting to reduce.

You can’t force people to learn or unlearn things at a rate that is faster than what they are capable of or what they are interested in doing.

You will drive yourself into a spin, and it won’t help you or your cause. If anything, there is the potential of you doing or saying things out of anger and frustration that will create more barriers and impact the process, so now things will take even longer.

You may not be able to press the fast-forward button on social change, but you can plant as many seeds as possible, in such a way that you build the most fertilized garden. So if and when people are ready, they will grow at the fastest rate, the most nourished rate possible. Focus on what you can do. And everything else…. Let. It. Go. Wipe it off. If you have to stand up and act out the motions of wiping it off, do it with grand sweeps. Your brain will thank you.

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” – Martin Luther